Let's play a game

I am really starting to think about what life will be like once I am back in America. The biggest problem:

WHAT THE HECK AM I GOING TO DO?!

So here is the game. Everyone leave a comment about what you think I should do with my life in my repatriation. 

The end is near...

Over the past few months I've been battling with a decision over the future. Whenever people would ask about my plans for staying in China, I'd always respond with, "I don't have a plan. I'm here until it is time to go." But now, I have a plan...sort of.

Ever since my last trip home, I've really been struggling on when to go. At first I thought I would be home for good by Christmas time. But, upon returning, I took more time to pray about it and seek God for the right answer. I still don't have an official one other than the time is coming. It will be sometime between December and May 3. That is the day my visa expires and I do not plan to renew it. I'm coming home on December 18 for the holidays and I am in a wedding in Florida in the end of January. I'm still waiting to know if that is permanent or if I will return for my final few months in China. This isn't a decision that has come easy, but I feel the Lord is lining things up so that it can be a smooth transition for the Guest Relations department at SFCV.

Last week I had to do the hardest part: tell Tim and Tina. Pam already knew because I broke down to her when I first came back from the States. Waiting so long to tell them was hard. I felt like I was living a lie every time we talked and the anxiety was really getting to me. I'll be honest, it sucked. I didn't want to let them down, but I knew that it wasn't. Of course we were all a little emotional in the meeting, we are more than coworkers or even friends, we are family. I made a promise that China is not off the table for the future, and it is not. It has been a huge part of my life, of my growth, and of my heart. I can't see a future that does not involve it in one way or another.

So now, this is the part that I don't like, but have to say. Moving is expensive. My flights alone for just visiting home in the last year have me in serious debt. I really hate asking for money, but it seems to be something I can't do without. I guess a better way to ask this is to say, please pray for the Lord's provision in this transitional period. I pray that whatever job I take on next year will allow me to pay off my debts quickly so I can begin saving for the future (that hopefully involves adopting Chinese babies).

Precious Patrick

This is Patrick or as most would call him here Wu Yumin. Over the past few weeks, we have formed a friendship. For obvious reasons communication is not a big part of it, but there is something sweet about sitting in silence. I have been observing him as he interacts with Sheldon. Sheldon can be...spirited. But Patrick has a patience with him that others don't. Part of it is circumstances, they are the boys closest in age in their house therefore they tend to play together, but part of it is Patrick's character. Often when I am in the house, Sheldon is jumping around pretending he is Ultraman, but Patrick will come sit next to me, hold my hand, and protect me from any flying stuffed animals that have been defeated by Ultraman.
Recently, I lost our dog Benji. I took my eyes off of him and we think he may have wandered out the gate. We made "lost dog" flyers to post around the area. When Patrick heard about this, he took my hand and asked me if my dog ran away. With a sad look I responded with a nod of the head. Then, in one of the most precious moments I've had here, he told me he was going to find him and give him to me. Of course I did not understand every word of the conversation, but I understood enough of it and the hand gestures filled in the rest.
Patrick is by far one of the sweetest 10-year-olds I have ever had the privilege to know.

Celebrating America in China

Just a couple weeks ago was a holiday that is special to us in America. It is a holiday that represents our freedom and our independence, something that we so often take for granted because it is something that we rarely take the time to consider. I have now celebrated that holiday three consecutive times in China. I love this country, but I am proud to be an American. I am proud to wear my nations colors and celebrate the freedom that so many men and women have died to protect. I am proud to live in a country where we have choices, where we are not censored (well, sort of). And though sometimes I think people should not post everything they are thinking, I am proud to live in a country that allows us to speak freely on social media sites. And though I am not currently living there, America is my home and I am proud of that. God gave us a great nation and I am proud to celebrate it even from the other side of the world.

beginning of a delicious meal

goofy times with Adrian

watermelon seed spitting contest

rainbow

ultimate frisbee before fireworks

best firework show in town

Crossover on CCTV-9 (my 15 seconds of fame)

Last year Tim Baker did an interview on CCTV-9's English show called Crossover. The producers felt there was more to be said and when Tim is talking there is always more to be said. After visiting us at Shepherd's Field, they decided to film two more segments.

In January they returned. The day began with a tour of Shepherd's Field. The cameras followed Tim from house to school to clinic to therapy. After that, we all gathered in our makeshift studio to finish the show. It was wonderful. Tim and the host sat in front of the cameras while the rest of us served as the audience. We all had our chance to say a few words and we were even able to FaceTime Pam Baker and a couple of the adoptive families. The whole experience was great. It was definitely something that doesn't happen everyday, but something extremely special.
Here are the links to the two new segments:

Crossover - Shepherd's Field part 1
Crossover - Shepherd's Field part 2

As well as a few photos from the day of filming:

Eating the Winter Away

Back in December some of us started running together. It seemed to be going pretty well until the snow came. It isn't normal for this area to see as much snow as it has, but this year we have had plenty of white days. In a location frequented by snow, the roads are taken care of with plows, salt, etc. But here, in our little neck of the woods, the middle of nowhere, the roads are impossible after snow. They don't get plowed or salted. They get icy. You can't run on ice. You can fall on ice (I have pictures of the bruises to prove it), but you can not run on ice. But the lack of running is not the full reason I can't drop any excess pounds. This is the reason:

 

Posting all those photos made me hungry! This country really knows how to make great food! However, as soon as the weather improves just a bit more, I want to get back out there. Who wants to join?

Power of Prayer

This week is a holiday week. Not just any holiday, it is Spring Festival...Chinese New Year. This is bigger than Christmas around here. Most shops and restaurants are closed for the entire week. All of our Chinese staff (other than the nannies) are off for the week as well. That hasn't left much work for us to do either, but today we had a guest, a friend from a year ago who came back to visit. We enjoyed a great lunch at the only restaurant still open this week. After that, we came back to Shepherd's Field to spend time with the kids. At the end, we went to the Vocational Center to show our friend the progress. He was here just over a year ago. At that time, we went back and prayed over the building which wasn't much more than a single story. Today it stands four stories tall with hopes of being completed and open before the end of the year. It was special to stand on the roof with him once again and pray over the building. We thanked God for all that He has provided and prayed for His continued provision.

"Therefore do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things."   Matthew 6:31-32

View from the top of the fourth floor of the Vocational Center

Sisters are the best friends

When I was home in November, my sister got engaged to her long time boyfriend. I am over the moon excited for these two. In my life, I've never known another person like my sister. For all the years of fighting and wanting to kill each other, we are now blessed with a friendship that I could not replace. She is beautiful, funny, sincere, honest, the list goes on... She has the incredible gift of caring for others above herself. I have seen her selflessly give her time and energy to help our family time after time. What sticks in my mind most is the way she has cared for my grandparents. First she was always there to help out with our grandpa before he passed. Now, even in her insanely busy life, she is always willing to help with our grandma. I know what that means to my aunts who care for her full time at home. My sister is not one to waste her gifts. She knows Who they come from and she is not one to waste His blessings either. She seeks the Lord each day and encourages those around her, not only with word, but with action.

David Lim is probably the luckiest man in the world to be marrying such woman as Danielle. He is something special, too. I am so excited to welcome him to the family as my brother. I look forward to many years of happiness for these two who will begin their new life together on June 2, 2013. I know it is a love built around God which is the most beautiful love there is.

Before I returned to China, my sister had asked me to be in her wedding, but yesterday morning I woke up to the "official" invitation:

"And when the roosters are crowing and the cows are doing circles in the pasture!... DUCKS FLY TOGETHER!" Be one of my Ducks?

Thankful in December

I was lucky enough to spend the month of November home in California with my incredible family and friends. Even though I was there for almost 4 full weeks, the time seemed to fly by and it was over before I could see everyone and do everything. I did, however, come up with a ridiculous list of things for which I am thankful:
western toilets, flushing paper in said toilets, high speed internet, netflix and hulu on said high speed internet, drive thru food (although I don't really eat it, I appreciate the convenience factor), MY drink at Starbucks (the drinks are limited here), driving...
I know those are such silly things, but when you live somewhere that you can't have these things, you learn to appreciate the little things.

Now that I am back in China, life is a little different than before. Most of the kids I was attached to have been adopted. It is definitely a bittersweet feeling because they are exactly where I have prayed for them to be: in a forever family. Visiting with Henry back home was a huge blessings. I don't usually get to see the other side of it, life after Shepherd's Field. It gave me an even greater respect and admiration for the families who adopt, not just from here, but the orphans of the world. I am so grateful the Lord has given me the brief moment in time to be here with these beautiful children.

This year, Christmas is actually a little white. We had some snow fall last week and while it hasn't snowed since, it is so cold out that the snow won't melt. Most of it is more ice than snow now, but it is still white. I am hoping that I can Skype/FaceTime with my friends and family back home for the holiday, but if not, I want you all to know that I love you so dearly and miss you every minute. I look forward to our time together again in the spring. Until then, continue to pray for me, the children, and ShepField as a whole. We definitely feel the covering and pray for you in return.

Here are a few pictures of the last week or so:

One Year Later

A year ago when this blog was started, I thought, "Hey, this is a great way to keep people updated on my life while I'm away." However, as the months passed and the posts grew less and less, I guess we all figured out that I am not very good at this whole blogging thing. I'm going to give it another try.

A few weeks ago, my one year anniversary of coming to China occurred. October 4, 2012. That was the day I was supposed to say 谢谢 and 再见 but that isn't what happened. Just about everyone has been asking me the same question: What's your plan? So what is my plan? I don't have one. My new plan is to not have a plan. I am here now and that is all I know for now. The rest is for God to work out. When He tells me in His timing that I am done in China, I will leave, but until then, here I am and here I'll stay. With that said, I renew my prayer request for continued support while I am here, financially and spiritually. The financial is obvious, but the spiritual may be less obvious. It is easy to run dry when I am not being constantly fed. I know a good deal of that is feeding myself in the Word and prayer, but some of that is the lack of feeding from fellowship with the body. I miss being at church and being involved with my CCLW family. I definitely don't' feel as connected when I go to Beijing, but it is also harder to get involved because the church is not close. It is an hour or more in a taxi so we do not tend to get involved in extra activities outside of the regular Sunday service. One way I have increased fellowship at home is by learning guitar. My roommate has been teaching me which has been great. We play worship songs together almost every day and sometimes we have the other girls in the Inn come sing with us. I really enjoy this time with them.

Anyway, all this is to say, I am staying in China, I miss you all, and thank you for always supporting me!

MARCHing in the Snow

Sunday morning I woke up early to get ready for church. I was excited to get to the city and spend time fellowshipping because things have been a little busy lately and it has been a few weeks since I've been able to get to church. When I got out of the shower, Chrissy told me to look out the window. Our windows tend to fog up so I couldn't understand what I was looking at. I could see the sun shining through the fogginess, but she told me to look harder. I wiped the window like you would wipe the mirror in the bathroom after a steamy shower...

We didn't end up making it to the city for church, but it was a great day anyway. I was so excited to have our first real snow that stayed on the ground for more than five minutes.  I got to spend the morning with some cuties. I did end up working in the afternoon, but is it really work if you are hanging out with the cutest kids in the world while a group sings praise songs to/with them? Henry stole my sunglasses, but he was so adorable in them that I couldn't take them back.

too cool for school

The night was topped off with delicious chicken and dumpling soup as our meal for movie night. Next week we can try again to make it to church, but I'd say the Sunday I just had was pretty awesome.

A Quick Update

It seems so much has happened and yet not much at all. This is the off season for us, not many visitors coming through the gates, yet I seem to find myself busier than ever. But, busy is a good thing. I enjoy making new acquaintances via email and helping them plan their trips. I like looking at the empty schedule sheet and filling it in to capacity. This summer is going to a crazy one with guests and interns, but it looks to be exciting. It will be a real test of just how much I have learned because for at least 2 months, I will be without the Bakers. However, in their absence, I will inherit a house, 2 dogs, and something like 8 turtles. Yes, I get to house sit all summer with Chrissy which will be a nice escape from the crazy at the end of each day. I am looking forward to riding a bike to and from work. I am looking forward to having a kitchen that is mine. But I am jumping a little too far ahead.... Before we even make it to the summer, I am heading back to California for sixteen days. I am so excited for this trip. I've already planned out my first few days of meals. Yes, I am planning my visit around food because there are some things I still can't get here. I will be home for Easter which will be nice because I will get to see a lot of family. I know my thoughts are scattered right now, but maybe a few photos will catch you all up on what has been happening this month.......

Viv is here and turned 17

I ate a lot

Henry is just as handsome as ever

Anabel Lee learned a new face

Stacey turned 22

Miracle Baby

Today our sweet Amity returned home after having emergency, life saving surgery at a hospital in Beijing. She still has a battle ahead of her in this very cold season, but we are trusting the Lord. He provides and cares for His children. What a blessing to see her so full of color and life! Continue to pray for her fragile heart...

Thank you...

I usually write of the smiles and good times and post pictures of beautiful children, but it is not always smiles and good times and beauty. I just hit my three month mark, and while I didn't have the nightmares of the one month mark, it has definitely been the hardest milestone. The spiritual attack and spiritual dryness has been rampant. I can honestly say I have lost focus. I have forgotten why I am here. I have neglected quiet times and strayed from prayer. I have picked fights with those I love. And now here I am, standing in the new year, knee deep in realizations. I am looking forward now to a renewed spirit, to a deeper love, to a greater understanding. I share this because, you, my friends, you are my accountability. You are my prayer warriors. You are my brothers and sisters. Thank you for sticking by me all this time. Thank you for praying with me and for me. Thank you for loving me, especially when I make myself unlovable. Thank you.

Psalm 31:5 "Into Your hand I commit my spirit; You have redeemed me, O Lord, faithful God."

Continuing Christmas (because I am irresponsible)

The title is true. I have been irresponsible. Back in the beginning of November, Gretchen sent a couple of things for Henry. My job was to deliver them, however, I instead put them on my table in my room and completely forgot about them. From time to time I would glance at them and think, "I should really get that taken care of," but then I would continue about my day without doing it. Today, December 27, I decided it was about time for me to be responsible. I continued Christmas for Henry Hill by delivering his gifts from his mama. Of course he can't know yet that he has a family waiting for him, but he was very excited to get Christmas presents, and even more excited when I told them they came all the way from America. He told Eric nice and loud where his book came from. Even though it was irresponsible of me to hang on to the gifts for so long, it was rather fun to deliver them as Christmas gifts. I hope these pictures will put forgiveness in his mother's heart now that I've finally done my job :)

Thank you!

Showing Eric his book

Looking at all the pictures

P.S. I am glad I was the messenger because I got the sweetest hugs and kisses

Safe in the Father's arms

On Friday, December 16, 2011, we lost a sweet little boy by the name of Austin. He came to us not more than a month ago with a very complex heart condition. He was very blue and we hoped that he would have surgery soon, but he never got the chance. Austin wasn't doing well all week, running a high fever. Friday afternoon he was taken to the hospital, but died on the way. What a joy it was to know this dear angel. As we mourn the loss of one ours, we are at the same time thankful for the knowledge that he is with his true Father now.

Last Sunday I was able to spend an extended amount of time with Austin. The girls went to Beijing for the day, but I needed rest so I stayed behind. The power went out leaving me with little entertainment in my apartment so I decided to go see Austin. I held him all afternoon. Because the power was still out after 5pm, the ayis let me stay in there holding him while my flashlight provided them with enough light to feed the other kids. This was the last time I saw Austin and I know now just how special that time was.

This has got to be the hardest part of this job. I've never dealt with the loss of a baby before, especially one that I already loved so dearly. I pray that as the winter continues, our other heart babies will grow stronger, not weaker. Lord, we commit them all into Your hands. You are our great provider and protector and it is in You we find our strength and comfort.

Austin Xie Minhuang

March 14, 2011 - December 16, 2011

 

Walking in a Winter Wonderland

What a wonderful surprise I woke up to find this morning. December 2, 2011 marks the first snow of the season at Shepherd's Field! There isn't a lot of it yet, but I am sitting on the couch looking at the window as it continues to fall. Welcome to winter!

Not much yet, but enough to excite me!

Not enough snow to change out of my Converse :)

I am so excited for more snow. I don't mind the cold because it is so warm inside now. I actually have the window cracked a little because the heat is so intense. I've been sleeping in shorts instead of layers for the last week. Today is a great day to be alive: snow, Christmas music, tree to be decorated...thank you Lord for such a blessed time as this.

Giving Thanks

I have so much to be thankful for this year. I have an amazing family back in the states who have been so supportive of my new adventure. And now I have an amazing family here. God has given me so much, though I deserve so little. I would love to tell you all about our Thanksgiving fellowship, but instead I'll give you the cliff's note version:

We ate. We laughed. We played games. We laughed more. We watched a movie. We stayed up all night (literally) to watch football...the first game started at 1am.

Here are a few pictures of one of the best nights I've had in China:

Ready for a lovely meal

Our "parents"

The Girls <3

My first plate of food...I won't tell you how many I had.

Almost licked it clean

Ready for a Packers' victory!